pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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