so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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