how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize