What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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