I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize