is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize