Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize