I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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