U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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