YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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