Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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