found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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