I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize