i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize