Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize