The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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