sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize