I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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