I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize