youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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