my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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