whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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