Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had to cum in my sink.
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