I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize