he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
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My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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