Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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