david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize