She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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