white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize