it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize