a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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