Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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