Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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