Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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