Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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