goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize