i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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