and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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