He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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