I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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