As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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