I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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