btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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