i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
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We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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