you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate all girls vehemently.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
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My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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