You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize