dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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