i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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