Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize