i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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